In your sigh

One of the rules I set for this blog is to not always write about work. This time, however, I have to make an exception since it involves a great leap of faith.

Recently, at the very same time I found out I was offered a post at another place, we discovered Azry had a facial cyst with a cancerous possibility so it has got to be removed soon. It was a minor surgery, the doctor said, but my world still came crumbling down.

I was about to take the job offer until I found myself having to take one and a half day off to accompany him to see the specialist, to go through the ultrasound & surgery and also to help him with the insurance stuffs and so on. My phone was ringing every hour or so, bearing the office number. They could not care less how my husband was doing, all they wanted was the tasks at the office to be done as soon as possible. I was a person who could multitask pretty efficiently, until it hit me at this point that I didn't want to do so. I wanted to be by Azry's side, updating him with every word the doctor said (he spoke with a deep Indian accent that it took a while to digest) and not having to answer the phone and checking the mails when he had to be wheeled to the operation theater.

The job I was offered made a statement that they would prefer somebody single. For me they would make an exception, they said. That I will constantly be on my toes. That I will be away from home most of the time. Tell your husband that, they said. I said, OK, I am sure he will be fine with it. I made a decision too fast. Not that Azry will not be fine with it, I guess I myself won't.

Azry's condition was probably still minor at this point of time, but something else bigger might come along the way. Even now we don't live to see the daylight during our weekdays. On the weekends if we are not working, we are too knackered we want to sleep all day. I said to Azry, if I want to be busy, I don't want to be senselessly busy and constantly feeling terrible. I want to be happily busy, if that's how they call it. I did also promise something myself that my next job/position will be something that is more closely related to my creative side.

And so, I decided to turn the offer down. I might seem foolish, but it was a tough decision to make and I have given a very intense thought about this. After all, something else bigger might come along the way, isn't it? Which brings us to this video where it reminds us that we need to soak up the sun more. (Photo from The Scout of the new Ace Hotel in New York)